Why Are You Alive?

An Excerpt from “The Book of Dwellers”

By Marti A. Silent

The water. You ask me what keeps me alive, but I do nothing to the water or with it. Still, it’s the water...

To those who assumed me to say, “stargazing,” you’d also be partially correct. It’s what I do to remind myself how small we all truly are, sure. That smallness is, unfortunately… fortunately, necessary. 

But star hunting and constellation searching may not make me feel “alive,” as you put it. It creates purpose. I have reason to be awake at night. I have a light to catch.

The ocean, however… you’ve heard of hedonism. There isn’t anything important about it at all. The lack of importance in this… well, that’s important. I guess importance doesn’t make me feel alive; it makes me feel necessary in this world, like there’s a dependence somewhere out there that needs this important thing that I’m doing.

However, not being necessary in this world is my version of living. The ocean and its absolute nothingness – its absolute indifference to me invading and exploring its depths, that’s what I need to feel alive.

— Shiloh of Asterin

An excerpt from “The Book of Dwellers.”